i went down to the middle school today for relay for life and i saw my old social studies teacher i had a crush on (don’t talk to me) and he was like “hey how are you i haven’t seen you in ages?” and the first thing i blurted out was “I JUST TURNED 18” and jesus christ if that’s not the thirstiest thing i’ve said in my whole life
MY MATH TEACHER SAW ME TEXTING AND MADE ME STAND IN FRONT OF THE ROOM AND HE TOLD ME TO READ THE TEXTS BUT I WOULNT SO HE TOOK MY PHONE AND READ THE LAST THREE ON THERE OUT LOUD AND THE FIRST ONE WAS “IM HUNGRY” AND MY FRIEND REPLIED WITH “HUNGRY FOR SEMEN” AND I SAID “TRUE THOUGH” IMGONNA JUMP OFF A BUILDING
*hooks your hips up to a lie detector*
- me: i'll do it at 7PM
- time: 7:02PM
- me: oops too late gotta wait till 8 now
Saying that you really want a zombie apocalypse to occur is like saying, “Yes, I want a traumatic and devastating event that will inevitably kill most of my friends and family to occur because I think it will be cool to shoot things for a while before I ultimately succumb to death in the worst way possible as civilization burns around me.”
why do we call periods “periods” when we can call them something cooler like “bloodstain fever”
or ”the crimson horror”
are u guys okay
This gif set will never get old, ever.
- Professor: Who plans on getting married within the next 5-10 years?
- Like 3 people: *raises hand*
- Professor: Who plans on never getting married?
- Me: *raises hand*
- Professor: *points me out* why?
- Me: It's illegal.
- Professor: touche.
I’ve never realized how accurate that looks.
Can’t ever not reblog this piece of perfectness ~
Oh my lord
It still amazes me of how accurate it is.
I grew up watching countless episodes of Winnie the pooh and not did I once notice this. Oh God.
I only ever have noticed OCD, depression and anxiety there, but I was too little to pay more attention to mental illnesses.
i wish i was a mermaid so i could have a nice shiny tail and a pretty seashell bra and a beautiful voice that i could use to entice cute boys and make them crash their ships and drown at sea so human women could rise as the dominate gender of the land
well that escalated quickly
paige i’m a lesbian why would i entice cute boys where did you think that post was going